by Christine Michaels (dined at restaurant in March 2024)
While Miami is known for glistening beaches,
upscale restaurants, and even fancy strip clubs one might think a venue with a name
like the House of Food Porn is a racy combination of the latter two.
It's not what you think, it's even better.
UNIQUE SETTING & LAYOUT
Immediately guests notice an absence of garish decor but
instead an elegant theme, in contrast to the suggestive name. The setting is
small, intimate, attractive, and elegant. Black and gold damask design
wallpaper line the back wall, a crystal chandelier dangling from the
centerpiece of sheaths of red chiffon draped across the ceiling evoking a
sultan's palace; even the serving dishes and cocktail glasses are hand blown
glass by artists in Europe. It's part regal, part faraway lands, and part
boudoir.
PERSONAL & PERSONALIZED
Name cards in scroll
lettering are regally placed in their card holder; Then the hostess, Nicky
addresses guests by their names having memorized them (just like any
first-class service) and sashays into center court distributing artistically
presented plates of food, in one fell swoop, making it look effortless one
wonders if she's truly human or a fairy gliding on air.
INTRIGUE
This is not your
typical restaurant. There are no menus. Reservations are required and the guest only
chooses the number of courses and any cocktails options. With an open mind and
adventurous foodie spirit, the guest welcomes the mystery of what he or she
will eat (and drink) and is encouraged to take their time savoring flavors and
deciphering the ingredients. In my
first experience years ago, I used a blindfold. None is needed this time. It would
take away from admiring the beautifully curated presentation. The ingredients
are masterfully blended that one cannot tell from looks alone what they are
about to indulge in.
ENTERTAINING
Like any great experience, a story emerges. In the beginning
the chef unravels his personal journey of becoming a chef and how the
"Shushi" roll was conceived. Once the food is served and guests have a chance to take a
few bites and offer their guesses, the chef steps into center stage and reveals
the ingredients. The guests are often surprised at the combinations and
sometimes confess to a dislike for a certain food and are amazed they didn't
taste it. Herein lies the genius of a master chef.
The House of Food Porn checks every box for me with one
exception, lack of parking. However, while I would normally discount the
restaurant for this fact, the added perks and value of a Membership Program and
the restaurant regularly giving back to the community, left me saying,
"who cares about parking when you have all this"? Moreso, each couple enjoys a bottle of wine (on top of the cocktails), and it is
strongly recommended to take an Uber ride for one's safety.
Ambiance
Elegant Details & Impressive Presentation
Personal Experience
Mystery
Great Storytelling
Opportunity to interact and talk with the chef and hostess
Opportunity to meet and talk to other guests and make new
friends
Elevated Experience
Impeccable service all around from the reservation process
to dining experience to post dining
Ideal for singles, couples, and groups
Great Value
Membership program
Gives back to community regularly
LOYALTY
This was my second time dining there since they first opened
in 2018. The improvements were notable. I knew I wanted to return with visitors
and friends who are true foodies. For their loyalty, repeat guests can now join
a VIP membership in the form of a "Passport" and eat free several
times a year (for life) depending on the package one purchases along with a bevy of other exclusive perks. What a brilliant idea indeed! I never heard
of high-end restaurants offering this. As a huge fan, it only made economic
sense to invest in one. But this is not a digital program. It's a physical passport with your photo. Old School. I absolutely
love it. That elated feeling when you grab your passport knowing you are going
on a trip. In this case to a destination known for savory food, great people
and a fun time. Regular visitors to Miami from out of state have purchased it
as well. The feeling of inclusiveness and that you have a family that you enjoy
spending time with, sharing a meal, stories, and laughing together is the
cherry on the top. Oh no wait. There's more!
GIVING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY
HOFP physically volunteers and gives back to the
community. In a nutshell, they
discovered many stray cats in Miami, and started
to care for them. The effort has evolved
into a full-blown nonprofit organization.
They created a private sanctuary in Key Largo for the cats, Homeless
Kitty Haven Sanctuary. The cost to care
for many cats (food, supplies and vet bills), are daunting $30k-$40k a
year. Hence the VIP membership program,
the Passport program was born. The purchase goes entirely to the nonprofit (an
official IRS designated 501c3 organization), and it's a tax write off for the
guest. At this point, I could not get out my credit card fast enough. I can now
eat for free at HOFP for life (certain restrictions apply), while my investment
goes to the care of former homeless cats who will live happily ever after in a
spacious white houseboat with plenty of windows for sunshine puddles and
viewing birds and nature. It's a win-win.
If truth be told (as we take pride in authentic reviews), Miami is gaining ill fame for expensive restaurants where the food and experience do not live up to the price. Not in this case. House of Food Porn is rightfully the number one upscale dining experience in Miami on both Trip Advisor and Yelp. The magic is performed by only two individuals who pour their heart, soul and sweat into this business.
As a foodie, pet lover and supporter of small businesses, I
encourage you to try The House of Food Porn. To receive a 10% discount on your
first-time experience, use code: HOFPVIP. Like any premium brand, they rarely
offer discounts. Take advantage!!
I hope to see you at one of the HOFP
dinners to enjoy a culinary trip around the world, while supporting local,
innovative, hard -working, philanthropic small business owners, homeless pets and to make new friends.
CHEERS!
197 NW 62nd St
Miami, FL 33150
Only open Thursday-Sunday
Dinner starts at 7pm sharp; arrive early
Note: the rolls are mostly protein from various meat sources. This is not an experience for vegetarians or vegans. However, with much advance notice, single food restrictions such as pork can possibly be arranged. Sauces on top are often spicy but this can be omitted with advance notice.
Also recommend making note in reservation if you are dining for any special occasion.
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Only open Thursday-Sunday
Dinner starts at 7pm sharp; arrive early
Note: the rolls are mostly protein from various meat sources. This is not an experience for vegetarians or vegans. However, with much advance notice, single food restrictions such as pork can possibly be arranged. Sauces on top are often spicy but this can be omitted with advance notice.
Also recommend making note in reservation if you are dining for any special occasion.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
